I really don't understand things anymore. How can things go from being pretty good, to failing, to good, to failing, then good to up in the air so fast? As you all know the current state of my relationship... it gets worse.
Today everything was hunky dory and went swimmingly well. I really thought things were turning around and getting better and the boyfriend and me were going to be okay. Now he was going to his hometown today to fix his Jeep, go to lunch with his dad, and out to the bars with the best friend. The second he got into town he was MIA text wise. To be expected since he was kinda busy. I was slightly concerned when lyrics were posted on Facebook by a family member, but didn't let it get to me. Since I have been kind of feeling out of the weather or however the phrase I'm looking for goes, I crashed out early, and fell asleep around midnight or so.
I wake up 6 hours later to my phone being slightly blown up. The first 4 texts were cute and uplifting. Then, it all kinda crashed down. Apparently there was an incident at the bar and it included his ex. Now me and his ex were friends, and still used to talk occasionally Never about anything specific, just about how our lives were going, her new boyfriend, my sewing and what not. Never did I seek out and bitch about my boyfriend. There was one time where I vented to her. And apparently that was a glaring mistake. I thought I had good friends, but hey I guess why be friends when being a shitty excuse for a friend is so much better. You can be half as genuine and not be quite so invested.
But with everything going as swell as it has been lately for me, clearly things have to fall apart more. More things have to fall apart for me, because it can't just be over and I be happy. I can't just fix things with my amazing boyfriend and be in love. I can't just feel the love that radiates from him and be just consumed and a feeling of overall euphoria. Nah, that would be too nice. And the world isn't nice. Long story short, he text his ex and tried to ask if they could stop being pissy with each other and she just replied that yes they could, right after I stop texting her for advice. Apparently I must blow her phone up begging for advice, when I talk to her maybe once every two weeks, but I'm begging for advice apparently.
I am so done with people fucking with my relationship. The KIK bitch never came through, just made the boyfriend wonder, but after everyone contacted him, it all proved my story right. But everyone wants to put their two sense in and fuck with it. I seriously have done everything I can think of to try and fix this, but I'm running out of ideas. And now everything anyone says to him, he takes way out of context and it puts more strain on us. Clearly the ex was pissed when she say this, and she was intoxicated, as was he. So- that must be bullet proof evidence because she never said things she didn't mean to him, nor is it a proven fact we say things we don't mean when we are drunk or mad. Nah, we are humans and are perfect and wouldn't do that.
Can I just have my fucking happy relationship back? Please? I just want that back. I made a mistake and fucked up, I handled the situation horribly, but was trying to preserve our relationship. It clearly back fired and blew up in my face, but I did it with the best of intentions. I feel so much more relieved that he knows now. I didn't know how to tell him about it but I did want to tell him. Now that he knows I feel like I can breathe a bit better. I want to work past this and be stronger. Gah, I don't know how to fix this, and instead of being able to communicate about these things right, it's all via text. I just want to fix this, I have never felt so fondly of someone before. He has helped me through my past and I have told him things people never even knew before. He has reopened my eyes to my faith, and has made em reevaluate my life, for the better. He pushes me in the right direction in my life, and he is all around amazing. I just want to fix things and be happy with him....
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