Sometimes the best motivation is for someone to tell you that you are not enough. I have been working my ass off with this diet... which might not make sense but you eat lettuce as the majority of your meals and you will realize how much it sucks. How much work it takes with your will power to not stop at EVERY FUCKING FAST FOOD PLACE. Hunger pains are a real thing and almost suck as much as stairs after leg day.
When someone tells me I am not good enough or makes me feel like I am not worth what I truly am- I get angry. Which motivates me more... but more than anything it just sets fire to my heart. Who in their right mind tears down another person? Have I done it? Sure. I won't deny it. But NEVER to the extent that someone has to me.
I have never had good body image... I am 5'11" and used to be 130 pounds and STILL thought I had thunder thighs. I wouldn't wear shorts for fear of these huge things being seen in public. And now that I am post baby with a lot of weight to lose thanks to a chunky baby and bed rest for half of that, my body image isn't any better than it was. Finally I am motivated to get it gone, and have the ability to do so, and someone wants to remind me of what I am? When you are doubted regularly it starts to feel like the truth... Try as hard as you want but once it leaks into your head that it might be the truth and you're told 6 more times now you really believe it.
But we need a new subject before this blog makes me cry!
And we start day 2 away from my child... only 5 more to go... My immediate family went down to Alabama to see the rest of the family and guess who can't afford to take the time off from work or school? Yup, this lonely little worker here. Which sucks since this is something I would have loved to go on. But since the family doesn't get to see Little One often, I decided she should go down with the family. The end result is that I have 7 days without my kid, which I am equal parts happy and sad about. I have never been away from my daughter for longer than pshhh like 48 hours and that caused me a break down sitting there scrolling through pictures of her crying... Don't judge me. That little girl has always been with me. Ya know- that tends to happen when you only have one parent. I am sure I will be fine but I mean good lord.... its been 48 hours and I am sitting here scrolling through photos at my desk missing her more than ever....
Dang! I am a Debby Downer today. Someone ques the upbeat music and a yummy recipe! I have not really ice cream chocolate ice cream! It is made from cashews, which are my favorite nut. Yea- you can laugh at that. If you can convince yourself its as good as ice cream you are good to go :) Enjoy my lovelies!
Ingredients
4 cups of raw cashews, soaked for 4 hours
1 cup of maple syrup
½ cup of cacao powder
1/3 cup peanut butter
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1 cup of maple syrup
½ cup of cacao powder
1/3 cup peanut butter
1 tsp. vanilla extract
Directions
In a high-speed blender or Vitamix, blend together soaked cashews, maple syrup, cacao and vanilla on high until creamy.
Into a freezer-safe container, pour a third of the cacao mixture. Swirl a third of the peanut butter into the cacao mixture. Repeat with the remaining cacao mixture and peanut butter.
Freeze for 10 hours, or until mixture has frozen into ice cream.
Into a freezer-safe container, pour a third of the cacao mixture. Swirl a third of the peanut butter into the cacao mixture. Repeat with the remaining cacao mixture and peanut butter.
Freeze for 10 hours, or until mixture has frozen into ice cream.
Well my lovelies, its time for me to hit the mat.Hope you enjoy some ice cream on my behalf!
