The One

The One

Everybody’s looking for “The One”. That person who completes you, your other half. Sometimes you think you’ve found them, and they slip out of your hands. You think to yourself, “What do I do now? It was them. They were it. I’ll never love anyone like that again.” And you know what? You won’t. Every love is unique. Every love is special. Sometimes, we get blinded by our love and we think that our current love is our only option, and losing it just isn't an option. So when we do lose it, (and lets face it, we do most of the time) we fall apart because we think we’ve run out of options. If we honestly sit down and think about it though, we’ll find that there are so many other people to explore and get to know. Every love is an adventure, and just like people, no two adventures or experiences will be the same. You will learn something new from every failed relationship and every broken heart. Every memento, every t-shirt or necklace you never gave back, every memory, is a lesson.

Here’s how I see it.

When you’re born, your heart is whole. It is pure, and perfect. As you grow up, as you start to gain conscious thought and opinions and start to feel, it gets warped and broken. Even little kids. From the moment you start being conscious of the feeling of love, your heart starts to fracture. It’s a little bit like horcruxes, only with people. Every person you love, will carry a piece of your heart with them forever. Your parents, your siblings, your friends, your failed relationships, people you wish you could get back, someone you’re with right now, they all have a piece of your heart. Our hearts all have pieces missing from all of the people we’ve loved.

And when we find someone who's broken parts fit into ours, that is when we've found "The One."

Just think about it darlings. Much love y'all. 

Coexistence...

It's been awhile!  I know I am epicly sucking at writing posts these days.

As you know, the ex and I live together with a roommate. It's like one big bachelor pad. Or a frat house, depending if you look in our pantry or not.  But can the opposite sexes really be just friends?  Most people's automatic response is no. However, why is that?  We coexist in many places, the workplace, schools, heck even gas stations and grocery stores.  But is that because we're only briefly near each other?  Is this platonic experience just a facade, an elaborate dance covering up countless sexual impulses bubbling just beneath the surface?  

Part of this confusion stems from the media.  A certain classic film starring Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal  convinced the nation of moviegoers that sex always comes between men and women, making true friendship impossible.  Television hasn't helped much either.  Almost every classic show has one couple whom you wait and wait for the sexual tension to break, and for them to end up together.  And ultimately romance occurs and everyone is happy.  Come on, think about it.  Monica and Chandler, Meredith and Derrick Sheppard, even Sam and Diane.

But I think the key to it all, is whether you have clearly defined that you are just friends.  Think about it.  There is always that guy who claims he got led on.  Maybe he did, or maybe he never even implied he wanted more.  If you don't know where that line is, then who is he to claim she crossed it?  Furthermore, those guys who claim to get "friend zoned," did they ever say that they wanted more?  And when they did speak up was it too late?

Side note here, (sorry random thoughts pop up in my head and I can't stop them) if these guys got friend zoned, doesn't this just prove the fact that opposite sexes can be friends?  Or at least attempt to be friends?  Just saying....

But the biggest problem that comes between the just friends stigma, is the sexual attraction.  A simple hug could take on more than you're implying.  A normal hug, for just a little bit longer could send a mind on overdrive.  Let's face it, they have one half and we have the other and it would be really convenient to just slip and let it happen.  But if you have set those boundaries to a "no fun extras" kind of relationship then obviously you can't just give in.  That doesn't mean those feelings aren't going to pop up here and there, and most the time they aren't welcome.  You just have to swallow them and move on from them, if you really want that friendship to work.

Basically, if you have the will power, you can be friends with the opposite sex.  It's not a matter of "how our minds are wired" or any other bullshit reason you throw at me.  I honestly lost my entire train of thought.... so I'm just going to give up now.