A Spoonful of Sugar

I feel like I may have watched Mary Poppins too many times growing up.  I truly do believe that something with a high enough sugar content can make any shitty situation completely better.  Think about it, what was the best part of going to birthday parties? It wasn't watching your friend get cooler toys than you.  It was the cake.  What do they give kids after they get shots at the doctors office? A sucker, unless you had my pediatrician growing who gave you band aides and stickers. Yea I was deprived as a child.  What do pregnant women crave? Sweet stuff in every variety .  Face it, I am right and you know it.  Well, Mary Poppins was right.... I guess I'm just riding the coat tails in this one.  With that being established though, I had a shitty day yesterday.  One of those days where the stress just boils over.  And I am sure we all have our vices and knacks that we go to to relieve stress.  Normally I would power smoke a pack a cigarettes while baking enough for a small town.  Seeing as I am cutting back in all things in that statement, I only baked enough for half of that town.  Because not only do I bake when I am under a lot of strews, but duh! Sweet things are the cure to my shitty day. 

I actually started off cooking.  I guess you can call it cooking.... I made tuna pasta.  Basic little ditty really.  Celery, onions, frozen peas, tuna, sour cream, mayonnaise, and of course noodles.  Now I use these cute little noodles, they're like little bands and super adorable.  I don't even know the correct name for this noodle because I literally call them the tuna noodles.  Its a simple and quick dish that it a summer time staple really. You need it in your life. Are you doubting this? You're missing out, I promise.

But then of course I needed to bake some sweets.  I started off cheating, and thought that baking ore made cookie dough would suffice. Sadly, or maybe dumbly (is that even a word?) I was wrong.  I should have known better haha.  So it was time to whip up a batch of homemade cookies.  And of course I choose peanut butter because no one can go wrong with peanut butter.  Well, I guess if you're allergic you could go wring with peanut butter..... but most people can't go wrong with peanut butter. So on went the apron and on to baking we went.

For this recipe you're going to need:
3 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
16 tablespoons (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
3/4 cup sugar
1 1/4 cups packed dark brown sugar
2 large eggs
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup creamy or crunchy peanut butter (I use creamy, but I have heard amazing things about crunchy)

I don't believe in double cookie sheets going at once.  I know this drags out the process but honestly if you want to perfect cookie, you need your rack in the center of the oven and only work with one sheet at a time.  With that being said, preheat your oven to 350°F.  Go ahead and butter (or Pam) your cookie sheets.  Whisk together your flour, baking soda and salt in a medium to large size bowl and set it off to the side. 
Now its time to pull out the old electric mixer.  You want to mix beat your butter with both sugars for about three minutes on medium speed until it becomes light and fluffy.  Next you're going to reduce speed slightly and add the eggs and the vanilla; beat until smooth a d well combined.  Scrape down the sides of the bowl.  Reduce speed to low and beat I n the flour mixture in two parts so as not to overwhelm the mixer (and make it easier on yourself).  Mix until its combines evenly. 

When you're adding the floor, make sure you go slow or you will end up with flour on your feet like I managed to do....

Roll one inch balls and place on your cookie sheet.  Flatten each ball by pressing the tined of a fork into a crisscross pattern.  Don't squish all the way down or you will have very crunchy, paper thin cookies.  Bake for 13 minutes, or until golder brown on bottom and barely colored on top.  Cool on pan for 5 minutes before transferring to a cooling rack.  Allow to completely cool. 

And voila! You have amazing peanut butter cookies! This recipe makes an obscene 80 cookies or so.  Make sure you have a crowd who will devour them, mine were gone within two days.  Yes its possible.  And no I didn't eat them all.

My tip, between each sheet of cookies, pace your self.  I normally took the out and let the cool for five minutes.  Then I waited another five before trying to put more cookie dough on that sheet,  otherwise your dough melts before you even get it into the over.  And who wants a gooey mess?  These cookies would be great during Christmas or just because you need some sugar.  Definitely a great rainy project for the kids! Hopefully y'all enjoy and it brings some sunshine to your afternoon. 

Coffee, God and Cigarettes

Does anyone else have this almost morning ritual?  I have had the same morning ritual for about five or so years now (with a few tweaks here and there). Every morning I get up and pour myself a nice cup o' Joe with a splash of creamer, sit down and hop on tumblr.  I'm not sure if it's the combination of something visual instead of reading that I prefer or the fact that sometimes I just need to look at a fitblr (for those who aren't familiar, that is a fitness blog on tumblr) for some extra motivation to get through the day, but tumblr has never been replaced with a newspaper or even an ebook.  However, now with a little one I have come to  realize how important those rituals can be.  We have fallen into a pattern (at only 3 months) and everyday like clockwork we stick right to it.  And no matter what I do to change this routine, the NICU made her sleep and eating patterns and she has not (a stubborn little one) been willing to let these times go.  

So you may ask what this NICU schedule was? Basically she ate at 1, 4, 7, 10 and repeat. Now I have been blessed by the Gods with an extremely good baby.  At 3 months (almost) she sleeps through the night. We haven't perfected night time yet but hey once she goes down, she is down for the night.  But our morning routine is a little like this...

6:30- Wake up and demand breakfast in bed right NOW

7:00- Now I want you to dance with me to whatever is playing on CMT 

7:30- Did I say stop?

7:45- This room is boring now, remind me what the rest of the house looks like

8:00- Now we will go outside or I will cry until we do. 

8:15- Let's cuddle on the couch, oh and I want 2 more ounces of milk

8:45- Oh it's 8:45 AM? More like PM, goodnight. 

By nine we are back asleep until at least about eleven.  Which gives me the perfect time for coffee and tumblr to unwind and finish waking up before I launch into my school books and take advantage of the sleeping beast.  Now as for the rest of the day its a crap shoot.  Lately we have been boycotting our afternoon nap so I have a cranky baby by 5, but that normally is cured by new people getting home from work.  Ya know, cause mom gets boring after awhile.  We are also going through a mommy stage, which means that during the day I better have that sling out and handy because if she isn't touching me, she isn't having it.  Only for someone so cute would I put up with that.  

Now on a completely unrelated note, I have found a song that speaks to my morning routine (not the routine with my child).  And as the song goes, those things really are the only things that keep me sane some days when the stress is just too much. 

I'll just leave that right here.... yea, right there. That works for me. 

And Tonight, Mommy Needed a Drink

There are always those days that you just sink into the couch at the end of the night and know that you deserve a drink.  Lately the little one had just been crying up a storm.  I am not sure who thought the terrible two's were the worst; but honestly I would take a child throwing a temper tantrum any day to a child who can't tell you why they're crying.  And then there are always those special nights where you have been run so ragged you can't tell ice cubes to Legos.

Lately the little one seems to know when I am trying to put her down for a nap, or the night.  And it is really starting to run me ragged.  How can someone so small be so smart?  Is this Baby Genius?  She will do anything to get out of sleeping.  She will start cooing so sweetly, smiling her little happy face right off.  Then she breaks out the A game, she reaches out and start holding your hand, or cuddling into the crook of your neck.  She is quite the little player to try and get what she wants.  And of course when all else fails she resorts to straight screaming until she is bright red and gasping for breath.

The struggle the other night just happened to be her ability to wake up at the most inopportune times.  No matter what we did her little eyes would pop right back open the second you tried to do anything other than give her your full and devoted attention.  Which is great, if you haven't been holding it for three hours, and now you need to go NOW.  So while you're doing the dance down the hallway, only inches from freedom, she starts to wail.  Normally I would just quick pee and run to her, a few moments of crying won't hurt her.  But she has been battling a cold and when she starts crying she gets so fired up she stops breathing.  Yea, its serious to her.  So I can't fathom letting her cry for even a moment.  But I can proudly say I have now mastered pulling down pants with one hand, seeing as you can't hold it forever... and she just had to come with.

Our new favorite game she likes to play is to projectile shoot the pacifier out of her mouth at the dog.  Only at the dog. Because apparently the dog is the best target.

That is love on both of their faces...

But as fun a Spa-tooey is (that is what we named her new favorite game), she has been an absolute doll with allowing me to study.  She has no problem curling up and listening to me talk about different body parts or the construction of the body.  As long as I am talk, she doesn't fuss.  And they said you're supposed to read to your children, they never specified as to what you're supposed to read.  Watch ten years from now you'll find out I did her right haha!  One can only hope; I mean we all damage our kids, one could hope something good comes from what we're doing! 

Now back to that drink? Just in case you needed a new one for the back to school weeks, I have one just for y'all! It's called the Slutty Soccer Mom.  It's 2 oz. vodka, 1 part grape juice and 1 part cherry juice. Come on, don't play dumb, you know you have all those ingredients in your van right now... including the vodka. 

And then I decided to rip out my hair....

I am not sure how some of you handle being a mom.  I mean, you get the smiles and the cuddles, you hold this magical power to cure pain with a kiss, and don't forget those wonderful coo's.  That alone makes almost everything worth it.  But you also get the screaming at 2 in the morning, and the poo everywhere that you inevitably end up wearing at some point during the day. You battle other people who think they know what is best for you child, even those who have never had a child of their own (because obviously they know how it is supposed to work, and its NOT what you're doing).  Clearly I am a new mom, and a single one at that, but hot damn this is not for the faint of heart.  I am currently juggling going back to school to finish what I started (getting my BSN), raising my daughter, and acquiring a part time job to fund this madness.  But some mornings I swear to you, there is no desire to get out of bed or even think about trekking up those mountainous things they call stairs to go make a bottle.

This picture is brought to you by...

exhaustion and a tummy full of milk!

I have noticed my biggest problem.  I have tried to combine to lives that don't easily combine.  Let's review here:

-I am still trying to exercise like a 21 year old.  I want to jump into these crazy routines and slam protein and lose weight.  Have you ever tried to work out with a newborn?  You can have them fast asleep and the second you pick up a weight or start up that elliptical their little eyes shoot open and they decide to summon their inner demon and shriek while their head spins round like the exorcism.  Any groove you had or your heart rate has no plummeted and you get the start the task of starting all over.  Give it about 4 rounds of this and you start to question whether it really matters if you lose that baby fat.

-College has no benefits while raising a child.  It is another time sucker and it will eat away at your soul.  It adds stress and gives you 87 hours of homework and studying you need to accomplish.  That in itself is a full time job.  Oh wait, so is raising a child.  When was the last time you worked two full time jobs? Probably never because you like your sanity.  Some of us like to gamble with that sanity and see how much we can take on. And sometimes we find ourselves taking class notes on a diaper, and that's perfectly okay (give us two more cups of coffee and we might even notice what we're doing).

Give us a minute... or forty

-Speaking of jobs, you have to make money somehow, right? Ah yes, you have to pay for diapers because the last time I checked the magical pacifier fairy (who steal/hides all the pacifiers from me) doesn't have a sister who makes formula and diapers appear.  As lovely as that would be.

-Here is my biggest struggle.... I am only 21!  Do I love my daughter? To the moon and back. Are there nights that I just wish I could go out drinking without having to worry about finding a baby sitter, or the extra cost of that night out?  YES! Does this make me a bad parent? No.  I have seen too many new moms who have fizzled and burned because they are all baby all the time.  No breaks creates a mental break, and you need your sanity to be a mom.  Every mom needs a free night.  Whether you use that free night to go out and drink at the bar, go to a concert, or just get a solid night of sleep- we all need it.

At the end of the day you're exhausted, you have laundry piled high, you realize you have really only had coffee to eat that day, you still have yet to have a shower, and you might want to consider brushing your hair. But then you notice that sweet angel next to you fast asleep, and you soak it in.  Because no matter how hectic your life is, no matter how backed up you are in what you need to get done, nothing will compare to seeing that sweet smile at you, hearing those early morning coo's, or when she curls up and grasps your shirt and won't let go.  It won't matter how many days it has been since your last shower, or when the last time you had a conversation that wasn't in baby talk.  You would take on more if it meant she will have a good life, and then do it all over again.

Much love y'all :)