Greetings from Under my Rock!

Hey y'all! I know, you normally have to wait at least another week or so to hear from me these days. Spontaneous posting!!! No in all reality I have just been way too busy to post anything it seems.  I figured since the last time I did an update, it kind of sucked I would fill you in to what the latest is in my life, and maybe tell some funny stories from the past month as well.  I will gladly let y'all laugh at my expense.  

So, as for the job in the grocery store.... ya, I quit that job.  I just couldn't handle it anymore.  The women acted as if they were all about 14 years old and the drama was more abundant than glitter in a kindergarten art class.  It was more work trying to keep the stories straight than the actual job entailed. I found out from the rumor mill that apparently I am engaged and pregnant.  Both news to me (and no, I am not either).  The manager would schedule horrible hours, by that I mean she would schedule you about 18-22 hours, and then call you in on all the days she had you scheduled off.  Which, I am definitely not complaining about being called in (I picked up more hours there than anyone else) but when she hands you your schedule and tells you to not plan anything for your days off because she plans on calling you in.... why don't you just schedule me on these days in the first place?  I don't know maybe I am just simple minded and that makes too much sense to me.  The job was simple and straight forward, but it was back in the food industry which I hate.  I didn't go get certified to work in the medical field to fry chicken for 8 hours a day.  No sir.  Now I have started the job at the nursing home, which I absolutely adore.  Everyone is so kind, and although it will take some time to adjust from my old nursing home, it is definitely a place I can look forward to working for quite some time at. 

The day I went in and got this job was one of the funniest experiences I have ever had. I had simply gone in to fill out a job application, which if you have ever filled out an application for a medical institution you know that they basically want you to write a novel about every place you have ever taken a breath. I go to turn in this application and the woman at the front desk tells me that director of nursing wants to talk to me.  Oh, alright. I can't think when the last time was that I interviewed but now I am instantly nervous.  He gets off of his phone call and calls me into his office.  We start the random bullshit talk, ranging from our favorite food to vacation spots.  We finally land of schooling.  I start complaining about a certain college who would not work with my FAFSA and tried telling me my legal court documents were not proof enough that I was emancipated (even though the documents clearly state I am, with a judges signature).  It just so happens that his son had a similar problem with the same school.  Of course that makes me ask about his son, which turns out graduated high school the same year as me... and I know him.  Small world after all, eh?  He takes a 30 second look at my resume, and asks if I want a tour.  Of course I agree!  During our tour we have more small talk, and he introduces me to the head charge nurse.  Mind you, at this point we have not talked about the position or really anything substantial.  When he introduces me to the charge nurse, he slips a little tid bit about how I am a recent hire.  Well, again news to me!  To make this part shorter, by the time we get back to his office, I have the job and he wants me to start as soon as possible.  I fill out paperwork signing my life away to another company and we move on.  But as if this wasn't enough, while walking to the nurses station to get my TB test done, we walk past a group of BNA's (for those of you who don't know, you are a BNA while in training for your CNA certification.  Or if you don't pass your state test you're still a BNA until you do).  The director introduces me and one of the girls in the class proceeds to tell me how I will love the program this that and the other.  I go on to tell her I am already a CNA and PCA, that I just got hired.  You would have thought I told her I was Taylor Swift the way she reacted.  I was then berated with questions about how I like being a CNA, what my past experiences were like, had I ever seen a dead person, etc. I seriously felt like I was on top of the world.  Come on now, I have only been a CNA for a year, you would have thought I was the person who created the heart valve.  On top of that, (because that wasn't enough) during one of the director and I's conversations, we were discussing the different assisting and transferring equipment they have on the market.  Since I have worked at both a nursing home and a hospital with two very different budgets I had seen both ends of the scale.  He informs me he wants to consult me on which lifts they are going to buy since I have used all of them.  Uhm, hi my name is HOLY CRAP ARE YOU SERIOUS?!  Do they think I am Mother Teresa? Apparently.  And I am not arguing. 

 

I'm moving again!  This is not something I am terribly excited about.  When the ex and I originally broke up, my living situation was only supposed to be temporary.  I finally have a new place to move and I think it is for the best.  I am very appreciative of him for letting me rent his second bedroom and allowing my to lay my head somewhere other than the curb.   However, when it is all said and done I think it is best for ex's not to live with each other.  I think we made the best of the situation and coexisted as best as two people can.  But, at the end of the day we both need our space from each other.  Hopefully we don't become strangers and can still be friends.  I'm moving in with friends to a huge house.  I get the basement to myself for awhile, and my own bathroom.  Not sure why this is so exciting for me, but apparently having your own bathroom is to me.  It is only about 5 minutes from where I live now, so I don't have to try and learn a whole new area.  But I hate packing all of my possessions up and moving.  I don't even know where to get boxes at around here.  I do not want to buy them, so I think I'm going to hit up McDonalds or maybe Walmart and try and snag some.  Or maybe I'll just jack them from a  homeless guy. Okay, kidding about that one.  

I'm dating again as well... and that is about all there is to say about that.  Sorry, I don't want to publicize unless it becomes something.  And even then, we all know I won't tell you that much.  Sorry guys! 

On to the car front!  A friend of mine is away with the military currently and is letting me use his truck.  So for the time being, I have a Dodge Ram.  It is super weird to go form compact cars to a truck all of the sudden, but I would be lying if I said that I didn't love being behind that steering wheel. But don't worry, I won't run over y'all.  Just know that I can haha.  

College bound for the third time... I have applied to a few colleges and heard back from two so far.  Both have accepted me into their nursing program.  For those of you who don't know, I am going to get my BS in Nursing, then go to med school for Radiology, followed by a 4 year residency and a 1 year fellowship.  I will then be Dr. Lauren Pleasant BSN RN RR (R)(T)(N)(ARRT).  Mouthful right? Still trying to figure out how they will fit that all on my lab coat, but I am thinking if I have all of my Radiology credentials on my coat, I can safely drop the nursing credentials.  Just a thought.  

So! Hopefully y'all are still reading, and not snoring too loudly if you aren't.  Don't say I never fill y'all in on what is going on in my life! Now you know more than most people do haha.  Hopefully all of your lives are going splendid and you have no complaints.  I am currently on vacation until tomorrow, which is a nice little break I will say.  Smile and enjoy the sunshine! Much love y'all! 

Table for On- err Two!

Greetings from under the rock I have been hiding under.  I could go on and on about the things that has happened since I last wrote, but the abridged version is that I acquired two new jobs (both in the medical field) and have been accepted to two different colleges for their nursing program.  Alright down to the dirty business, dating again.  How do you know when you are ready to date again? There are a few steps you need to take (or at least acknowledge) before you just plunge right in.  

Deal With Your Unfinished Business

Take a closer look at the unfinished business in all of your relationships and any resulting patterns that surface. By examining the role you play in each interaction you have with loved ones, you'll not only be able let go of your past, but you'll also learn more about your motivations and expectations for future relationships as well.

Reflect on Negative Self-Talk

Have you ever noticed when you are alone the things you say to yourself without thinking? "I'll never get married," or "Why would anyone ever find me attractive?" are both examples of negative talk. Take a notebook around with you for a day and write down each time you say something to yourself that isn't very nice. Later, challenge your negative self-talk using simple and free methods like EFT.

Define Your Needs

There is a fine line between having realistic relationship expectations and being open to whatever comes your way. Therefore, keeping an open mind while still remembering what's truly important to you in a relationship is ideal.

Feel Confident

Confidence and self-esteem are crucial to putting your best foot forward and making a great first impression. Make sure to take the time to ease your nerves and deal with any dating fears before starting to date again.

Make Space in Your Life for Love

Taken from Feng Shui (translated as the art of placement), making space for love in your life means clearing all clutter so that there's room for someone or something new.

Determine If It's Better To Wait

There are some situations in life that aren't conducive to finding a date. Not only will you be wiser, you'll be less stressed out and more able to be receptive to someone new if you take a break from dating when things are less than optimal.

Once you have gone through this... its time to just jump right in a start it all over again. However, getting back into dating can be downright terrifying. You put your most private self on the line, leaving your deepest fears and most ardent wishes open and vulnerable. If you’re just getting started again after being in a long-term relationship, you face a vast unknown—not just in how dating itself has changed, but in how you have changed.

You’re not the same person you were when you first started dating, and odds are you still see yourself as belonging with someone, as part of a couple. Even though you know you are no longer in a relationship, the thought of dating can still feel vaguely like cheating.

If you are new to dating again, you might be suffering from deer-in-the-headlights syndrome, seeing time itself heading straight for you, knowing you have to move but remaining frozen to the spot nonetheless.  If you have been dating unsuccessfully for a while and are ready to give up, the thought of another frustrating date makes your couch seem even more inviting on a Saturday night.

What can you do to push yourself forward without losing your balance? How can you change your dating landscape just enough to see something on the horizon worth heading toward? Start simply. Take these three basic steps and you just might find you enjoy the walk so much that you keep right on going.

1. Decide the big question once and for all: Do you want to date again or not? Do you want companionship and love, or do you genuinely prefer to stay single? I’m not asking if you want to keep going on miserable dates or if you are afraid to date again. Put those concerns aside. Do you want to date, period? If dating were fun and you were able to meet interesting men and enjoy new experiences and perspectives, would you want to keep dating?

If you are not interested in dating at all, regardless of the dating circumstances, then by all means, don’t date. But if you do want to date, if you want to make meaningful connections with men and have a blast doing it, then understand one thing: You no longer have the option to back out or quit. Because you’ve decided that you really don’t want to quit. You just want to date well.

So when you are scared, hurt, nervous, or frustrated, you can do any combination of things: change your strategy, learn new tools for handling your emotions and your situation, seek help, seek healing—absolutely anything but give up.

2. Stop hiding behind your excuses.

I’m sure you can (and probably have) come up with millions of reasons for not getting back into dating. You’re too busy, or you think you’re too old or not attractive enough to make dating worthwhile. Maybe you blame men: They aren’t interested in an intelligent, strong woman. They’re just looking for sex.

But every last one of your excuses comes from the same place: Fear. Fear of being rejected, hurt, humiliated, or disappointed yet again. Fear of the unknown. Maybe even fear of finding someone and then having to deal with all the complications that comes with fitting him into your already complex life.

You can and should address the individual reasons that are holding you back because they do affect your confidence and your approach to dating and to yourself, and you can actually improve your dating skills by facing your fears in specific ways.

But here, I want to focus on one thing. Regardless of your excuses, and regardless of your fears, you have decided you want to date again. You have committed to not quitting. Otherwise, you would have stopped reading at number 1 above.

This means that your excuses for not dating are at most problems with dating that you can, and have decided to, solve. It doesn’t mean that your fears aren’t valid or understandable. Of course they are! That’s exactly why your response to them should be to figure out how to overcome them rather than letting them overcome you and your desire to date. And you don’t have to do this alone.

3. Get help!

Dating is about interaction. It’s about connecting with people and building relationships. Yet most of us feel like we are on our own when it comes to preparing to date and handling the myriad complex issues that revolve around dating again after being in a long-term relationship.  But would you practice for a ballroom dance competition by dancing alone? Would you train for a basketball game by yourself, then just jump into the game with the team? Of course not. The best way to prepare for a fun and exciting experience with other people is to learn with, and from, other people.

Developing a good support network is a start, but for many of us, it isn’t enough. Having someone to talk to about dates gone awry is invaluable, but you also need someone to help you make future dates go better. Dating requires skill just like any art, sport, or profession does. You probably didn’t get where you are today in your career or your craft without developing some skills along the way. Dating is no different.

So stop blaming yourself for not magically knowing how to make your dates successful. Now that you have committed to pursuing the dating life you have always dreamed of (and that youdeserve), get help to start tackling your fears and learning the skills you need to start looking forward to every date and all the promise of fun, exhilaration, and passion each date holds.

Just wait... there's more!

Just as there are perfect times in one's life to meet someone new, there are also times when it is better to take a break from dating. Wondering when not to date? Read on to see if your circumstances fit any of these criteria. If one or more fit your current situation, its time to rethink your dating strategy and possibly take a dating break.

If a Long Term Relationship Ended in the Past Six Months

Even if you didn't marry your former partner, long term relationships still take their toll when they end. Dating someone on the rebound right after another relationship is not only a mistake but it can lead to disaster, because most people are more vulnerable and needy than normal in the aftermath of a breakup. Instead, work through the stages of Dating Prep completely before thinking about dating again, which should take approximately six months of hard work for most people.

If Someone Close To You Has Recently Passed On

If you are already in a strong relationship when someone in your life passes, there is no reason to end things suddenly. However, if you've just started dating someone or are trying to meet new people when a loved one dies, it may be better to take a dating break for at least a couple of months. Grief hits us all in different ways; allow yourself the time to really work through your loss, before getting involved with someone new.

If You Are Without a Job, House, or Both

Sure, things happen. People lose their jobs, move, quit, and relocate all the time. Still, if you don't have a place to call home or a steady source of income, its time to take a dating break. Focus on your immediate shelter and income needs for now, and soon enough you'll have the energy, space and money to invest in someone new.

If There Are Unresolved Addiction or Mental Health Issues Present

Unresolved is the key term for this specific dating break notation. If you are in therapy and have their consent, in recovery, or have beaten the odds and no longer suffer on a day-to-day basis from a mental health or addiction disorder, there is no reason to stop dating. However, if you are suicidal, haven't been taking medications prescribed by your doctor, or aren't actively working towards recovery, its time to start.

If You Are Separated But Not Divorced Yet

Separation is a challenge no matter what the individual circumstances. Trying to date someone new while managing a legal breakup with someone else positively is almost impossible. Give yourself at least a month for every year the two of you were together and/or married to work through the myriad of emotions you are facing before even thinking about dating again.

Since I am currently going through this, I figured it would be relevent to talk about in a blog. Don't say I never told y'all about my life ;) Much love y'all!

The First Cut is the Deepest, or is it the Third?

I think it is safe to say almost all of us have experienced a breakup before.  Some are more devastating than others.  Some make you feel worthless, others make you feel good about yourself.  So why is it, that when it comes to letting go, it's so hard?  One would think no matter how the breakup went, it should be easy to just close that door.  Think about that for a second if you're disagreeing with me.  If it makes you feel good about yourself, then you should be able to stand tall and walk away with your dignity intact (or most of it).  You're feeling good so there is no picking yourself up off the ground.  But, if you have been broken and are completely shattered by this breakup and have to pick yourself up off the ground, why is it so hard to just finish the chapter?  They hurt you, or you hurt them, whatever the case may be it hurts.  So, why not just shut the portal of hurt and move along with your life?

I guess I am saying this because I am trying to figure out my own emotions.  When the ex and I split, I figured I would cry like most people do and move on.  And I thought that I had- but if I am truly honest with myself then I know that I am not.  Have I had guys try and pursue me? Heck yes.  Have I felt anything at all to make me want to let them pursue, or better yet pursue them back? That no would be as fat as a pig on Sunday.  I mean, I knew I had some serious feelings for him, seeing as I left a fiance and a family for him.  But lets be honest here, why can't I just turn around and shut the door?  Should be easy, or at least it is for him.  He goes out with girls, and has a great time.  Nothing wrong with that.  But what is his magical secret?  I mean, how do I get rid of that jealous twinge in my side when he gets that smile talking about another girl?  Or maybe this is why ex's just should live together.

There has to be something more to this riddle than I am seeing.  I mean, I always thought that I had this great ability to bounce back from things.  So why not this?  After my first boyfriend (which lasted 4 years), I was damn sure upset.  Wouldn't you be after 4 years of the same person being in your life and then they suddenly walking out of it?  But I feel like I wasn't this upset over things.  There was one or two factors that were different that might be playing right into the equation here.  One, I didn't live with my first boyfriend, so I didn't get to have those everyday encounters.  You expect to see them, but not everyday before work, after work, and every evening.  Two, I don't still live with him.  And although he does have the "honor" of being my first love, I don't think many people expect their first loves to be their last.

Or maybe it's because of the ominous, "maybe we will get back together down the road." Every girls least favorite words (almost as bad as "it's not you, it's me).  I'm not exactly sure why people say this. Maybe they do just to lessen the blow of the split, but really it's just false hope.  I only know one person who has ever gotten back together with an ex and followed through on those words.  Whatever the case may be, I think people need to stop saying this as much.  We throw around words like love and forever, and don't truly mean it.  Empty promises are abundant and the false hope is flooding over the optimists' buckets.

I meant for this not to be as personal as I just made this.  I think I more or less just ranted instead of vaguely pointing out problems.  I kinda suck at not exploiting details.  Nevertheless, hopefully you followed my logic.  Much love y'all!

Political Bitch....

Hey y'all! Sorry I have been so busy lately, it has been very crazy around here lately. I'm now trying to work two jobs, one at a local breakfast restaurant and the other at a grocery store.  Still trying to get back into the medical field.  The ex and I have agreed to let me pay him monthly to use one of his vehicles so I can branch out from the one medical facility around this area to possibly working at one farther out of the area.  Doing this, I can make more money and buy my own vehicle, as well as save for schooling and pay off my debt that I haven't yet paid off.   However, I always have a problem with something going on in this world..... so here is my time to bitch.  It's political and I am not going to hold back any of my feelings; so if you're feeling highly irritable today or just plain easily agitated, I suggest you don't read this.

So I am not completely educated with the current issues politically like I should be, but I do know how they are affecting me.  As someone who is trying to rebuild their life, I have been trying to get a better job.  However, in this job market I can only scrap some minimum wage jobs.  Thanks to Obama, I can no longer work a real "part-time" job.  Employers are only willing to let you work about 20-27 hours a week, so they don't have to give you health coverage.  Two years ago, I was able to work 38 hours a week at a part time job and still make great money.  No, I'm not trying to make this a long term deal and work at a minimum wage job for the rest of my life, but trying climb the stepping stones of my the work force is hard enough with money problems.  I feel like people (or at least my friends and me) have to work two jobs just to make their bills.  I know I am not living outside my means, I don't even have a car or car insurance with bills, for the simple fact that I can't afford it and know this.  But (and this is simply my opinion) why is a man who preaches that he will help the work force and the unemployment rates make such a ridiculous bill?  Or maybe, that was his master plan to help unemployment, as everyone would have to work 2 jobs, thus making employment go up.  Not sure just stating my opinion.  I just feel like it is simply impossible for the college age bracket to try and work and go to school.  

I know that most people are conventional, and have FAFSA or help with paying for college.  But for those of us who don't have that luxury, we have to work to pay for schooling.  Now how are we suppose to work two jobs to pay for our schooling, and be able to attend class and study sufficiently for exams?  We have created a work horse generation; where we eat, work, study, down some energy supplements  work and start it all over again.  Now while this will help the economy (I'm sure), it will burn people out so quickly.  People who have great will power and great perseverance will finally get out of this 5 year zombie walk. However with this cycle, and the poor sleep or the lack of energy will cause more on job accidents.  And once someone who has been working 2 jobs and grinding the wheels for a few years gets money to sit there and not do anything, isn't this more incentive to just continue to sit there and collect money?  Just saying, maybe it's because I have watched people do this or I have encountered people who are collecting unemployment or disability for no other reason than they feel like sitting on their asses and not doing any work. So shouldn't we either create an incentive for those of us who are still working or somehow cut down on these ridiculous laws and incentive programs for those who don't work.  

This is all simply my opinion, so please don't jump down my throat and tell me I'm wrong.  I know there are many places where my opinions will differ from MANY other people. But this is just how I feel trying to go through the motions.  Sorry for my long rant, just feel like it isn't as easy to succeed in life as it was 5 years ago.  I'll try not to bitch anymore.  Still love y'all.