Has anyone else had this? Maybe it is because I am self conscious about being a young, single mother. I am constantly thinking I am being judged by people and I don't want to come off as an ignorant and- oh I am not even sure how to phrase this. His family has appeared to be welcoming of this little addition- but I do not want to come in and become cozy when I shouldn't.
My family alone has a ridiculous amount of Christmas celebrations. Divorced family means we had to adapt and make lots and lots of holidays. Now we add in theirs? Not to mention they overlap. So who's do we chose? His family already feels I pull him away too much... so I don't want to miss his- but I truly don't feel welcome at his.
Ultimately I want to keep my daughter where she will feel the most comfortable- and that leads to my house, my mothers house and his house. Only time will tell I suppose. He has been nothing but supportive of this entire blending and I know it is a work in progress. All families blend at some point and traditions change. I guess I have always thought it would be a little bit less harsh than a straight shot of vodka.
Testing for paramedic school is in less than two weeks and I can't contain my anxiety. I keep telling myself I will be okay and I an do this- and it is not the paper test I am worried about. I always get nervous when it comes to practicals, and of course there is one for entrance to this program. I can not tell you of much it makes me want to curl into a ball over it. 13 days and I hope my lucky stars are aligned and I can keep my cool long enough to get in. I had overwhelming support from people in their letters explaining that they have confidence in me to do this- so why don't I?
Lord where did my back bone go? Better go find it. I am definitely going to need it. But until then- I am going to finish watching this game 7 of the world series. Die hard Cubs fan here! Go Cubs Go!
