Banana Bread and Beginnings

Tossed away in the back of your ques rested this blog.... Dormant and lacking love. UNTIL NOW! Guess who's making their come back? Boom. Y'all miss me? Some of you may remember my random, explicit filled blogs that discussed food and liquor. Some of you didn't tune in until I was a mom and the blogs were still filled with explicits and liquor. And mom things. And for my loyals- y'all remember when this blog wasn't called Mama Tried. Those were dark days. But everyone has to start somewhere. So what's been going since I last left you... Well hmm. For starters I'm still losing that baby weight.

Whoever said it takes a year was a liar. Hope their pants burned right off. But I'm sure most women were more active than I was at first. But never fear! I've restarted my yoga practice and have lots of little bits and bites for you there. 

Also- school? Oh boy let me tell you. Whatever dream land I was living in that made me thought as a single mom with a newborn I could tackle nursing school must have been pretty. But here in the real world I realized I couldn't tackle both at once and think about working. Enter stage right, the best opportunity that could have arose. I now work in a dispatch center for my county's ambulances and love it. And because I wouldn't be me if i didn't have a plate full, I'm also going to EMT school and being the single parent I've been. 

Speaking of single parent- little miss EM is a weed. She has seriously sprouted up and over to the moon! Almost two now she's climbing and running and how could I forget, talking. And I mean she talks. All day. All night. Wakes up and still talks. It's like she doesn't know what silence is. Unless of course she's getting into something. Then suddenly silence. Funny how that works isn't it? 

But the most important thing (and something new to touch this blog) is my struggle with mental illness. I'm not one to talk about it or even admit to it but it seems that this might be the best thing to do. I know not many people like to discuss their issues but when you have people like me who Google and Google for hours searching for ANYONE who feels like you- it sucks that no one will just talk about it. And let's face it- it can be an ugly topic. That being said I'm going to lower walls that haven't ever been lowered before and hopefully I'll help someone out there to know they don't have to be alone. I realized over a year ago I had something going on mentally but never wanted to deal with it. Shit I still don't. But it's time to stop playing for just me and start playing for the little girl who depends on me. The yoga however is just for me. 

So quick review; new house, new job, new school, new goals, new outlook on life? Lots to talk about. Where to begin? 

At banana bread. Because everything is better with banana bread. And because I just happened to feel motivated halfway through writing this and decided to crank out so bread. That's what normal people do, right? No? Well. Without more rambling, here is the recipe for a most delicious bread (and if you feel rebellious like I did- throw some chocolate chips in there). 

I decided to make this at 8 at night so there was no way I was dragging out my mixer. And really you don't need to- use those arm muscles ya mama gave ya!

Ingredients
- 3 very ripe bananas, peeled
- 1/3 cup melted butter
- 1 cup of sugar
- 1 egg, beaten
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
- pinch of salt

Preheat that little oven to 350 degrees and butter a 4x8 loaf pan.

In a mixing bowl, mash the ripe bananas with a fork until smooth. Stir the melted butter with the bananas until mixed together.

Mix in the baking soda and salt.  Stir in the sugar ,beaten egg, and vanilla extract. Mix in the flour.

Pour the batter into your prepared loaf pan.  Bake for 1 hour to 1 hour and 10 minutes (check at 50 minutes). Loaf is done when you can insert a tester and it comes out clean.

Remove from oven and cool completely on a rack.  Remove the banana bread from the pan. The first slice of warm bread is always the best.

I will be honest, I was out of baking soda and used baking powder.  The ratio to do this is for very 1 teaspoon of baking soda needed, use 4 teaspoons of baking powers.  Not sure if this will be able to be carried into every recipe so use with caution.  But definitely turned out wonderful with this one!

Until next time my lovelies!

Mercilessly Plugging Myself

Don't you hate when people promote themselves? Yea, so do I. But that isn't going to stop me! For about a month now I have been getting my Etsy shop back up and running from when he who we do not speak up ran it into the ground.  He caused me many bad reviews, and I have remedied all but one.  But, that won't stop me.

So, my shameless plug! I have realized there is this demand for mothers who work gruesome hours to put on this big show for their children's parties.  However, unless you're a stay at home mom who really has the time to make tutus and Olaf cupcakes?  How about those cute Jake and the Nederland Pirate nick nacks? Or the chalk board stat board to boast about your child's teeth and favorite foods? 

I do.  As a stay at home mom it allows me to make all those things you don't have time for.  And who has to know that it came from me?  No one, thats who.  My current favorite thing to make are those adorable tuts I mentioned previously.  Because, what is cuter than a child in a tutu? Nothing. 

Look at that face.  Who can deny that?  What makes this photo? The tutu.  Okay, maybe I a fibbing, its my daughter haha but really now, you know that is a stinking cute photo.  

So, lets say you aren't throwing the party but going to one... what do you get the child who has everything (like my LO).  Something handmade is always better than plastic and impersonal.  But who has that time? Yep, me again. I make hats, dresses, mittens, headbands. You name it I make it.  My current two projects are a crown and barefoot boho sandals.  I am dying to break those bad boys out!  

So where can you see all these wonderful things? Here of course! If you have any questions, or want something custom made just shoot me a message and I can discuss any ideas with you!  Hope to see you soon!

Well, Look What Came Back (life recap)

Stress.  It   plagues us all.  And it has never been something that is easy to deal with.  Try my shoes on for example.  I am a nursing student who has a nine month old child, a long distance relationship, struggling to find that way to get back to my before baby body, attempting to understand how you do makeup (since at 21 I have yet to figure out how to apply it tastefully), and debating getting back into the work force.  I have recently began yoga twice a week and I am starting to run again.  But lets be realistic, a month ago I was 2 weeks into T25 and then had a wine night and all hell broke loose and back to old habits we went.  One glass of wine and the want is gone.  What is that saying?  Flat abs or this cake?  Fucking pull out the knife cause I am going with the cake! 

But seriously who are we to think that going about something like this alone was a good idea?  I have tried the different avenues like Nike Fuelband Plus majigger support and the Jawbone community is obsolete.  I have never been a fan of the Fitbit because they seem like a cult.  And don't get me started on those weight  watching programs like Jenny Craig... But nothing really ever worked.  I even found this cute little app called Weilos, and for he two months I was good about using it, it was amazing.  But like every app I used it seems that after about a month I forget about it, or put of entering what I need to and then it become just another memory sucking icon on my phone.  Lets see, if I open this bad boy up right now I have 1, 2, 3, annnd oh look a whole folder full of 5 more apps I never use labeled "Health" with a running man after it... as if this little emoji running man was going to suddenly motivate me when looking at Jennifer Aniston's sexy body at 50 doesn't. 

However I know that putting things out in the open help to motivate people and I think that is exactly what I am going to do.  No, this isn't going to turn into one of those crazy health and fitness blogs because lets face it, that requires me to be motivated and actually accomplish something every day.  However this will be one of those, "real life, this is the shit I deal with everyday and no I don't care that I wore this shirt yesterday, yes I know there is baby food on it.  Do you really think I am going to go for that run? No I don't care how many calories are in the McDouble.... wait yes I do. Shit that test was today!" blogs. 

So I am going to be straight blunt with you.  I have a tummy donut.  Or maybe a deflated basketball duct taped to my awesome six pack abs you just can't see is more like it.  Either way, if I were to wear jeans you would think I was smuggling chips under my shirt.  I may or may not restart T25... if you would like actual reviews on it let me know.... I do have downloaded  (but never used!) the Nike training club app. I was thinking about starting that up... who knows.  The yoga I am doing is Hatha.  I can post videos that will correspond with what I am doing in this class.  I also might rant about my wonderful choice in major.... nursing.  Why do people decide this as a major? I want to shoot myself.  Is anatomy even possible to pass? 

At any rate I am excited to kick back into my blog!  I have definitely missed y'all! 

And then I decided to rip out my hair....

I am not sure how some of you handle being a mom.  I mean, you get the smiles and the cuddles, you hold this magical power to cure pain with a kiss, and don't forget those wonderful coo's.  That alone makes almost everything worth it.  But you also get the screaming at 2 in the morning, and the poo everywhere that you inevitably end up wearing at some point during the day. You battle other people who think they know what is best for you child, even those who have never had a child of their own (because obviously they know how it is supposed to work, and its NOT what you're doing).  Clearly I am a new mom, and a single one at that, but hot damn this is not for the faint of heart.  I am currently juggling going back to school to finish what I started (getting my BSN), raising my daughter, and acquiring a part time job to fund this madness.  But some mornings I swear to you, there is no desire to get out of bed or even think about trekking up those mountainous things they call stairs to go make a bottle.

This picture is brought to you by...

exhaustion and a tummy full of milk!

I have noticed my biggest problem.  I have tried to combine to lives that don't easily combine.  Let's review here:

-I am still trying to exercise like a 21 year old.  I want to jump into these crazy routines and slam protein and lose weight.  Have you ever tried to work out with a newborn?  You can have them fast asleep and the second you pick up a weight or start up that elliptical their little eyes shoot open and they decide to summon their inner demon and shriek while their head spins round like the exorcism.  Any groove you had or your heart rate has no plummeted and you get the start the task of starting all over.  Give it about 4 rounds of this and you start to question whether it really matters if you lose that baby fat.

-College has no benefits while raising a child.  It is another time sucker and it will eat away at your soul.  It adds stress and gives you 87 hours of homework and studying you need to accomplish.  That in itself is a full time job.  Oh wait, so is raising a child.  When was the last time you worked two full time jobs? Probably never because you like your sanity.  Some of us like to gamble with that sanity and see how much we can take on. And sometimes we find ourselves taking class notes on a diaper, and that's perfectly okay (give us two more cups of coffee and we might even notice what we're doing).

Give us a minute... or forty

-Speaking of jobs, you have to make money somehow, right? Ah yes, you have to pay for diapers because the last time I checked the magical pacifier fairy (who steal/hides all the pacifiers from me) doesn't have a sister who makes formula and diapers appear.  As lovely as that would be.

-Here is my biggest struggle.... I am only 21!  Do I love my daughter? To the moon and back. Are there nights that I just wish I could go out drinking without having to worry about finding a baby sitter, or the extra cost of that night out?  YES! Does this make me a bad parent? No.  I have seen too many new moms who have fizzled and burned because they are all baby all the time.  No breaks creates a mental break, and you need your sanity to be a mom.  Every mom needs a free night.  Whether you use that free night to go out and drink at the bar, go to a concert, or just get a solid night of sleep- we all need it.

At the end of the day you're exhausted, you have laundry piled high, you realize you have really only had coffee to eat that day, you still have yet to have a shower, and you might want to consider brushing your hair. But then you notice that sweet angel next to you fast asleep, and you soak it in.  Because no matter how hectic your life is, no matter how backed up you are in what you need to get done, nothing will compare to seeing that sweet smile at you, hearing those early morning coo's, or when she curls up and grasps your shirt and won't let go.  It won't matter how many days it has been since your last shower, or when the last time you had a conversation that wasn't in baby talk.  You would take on more if it meant she will have a good life, and then do it all over again.

Much love y'all :)