Bash a Milso

I don't normally write about this kind of stuff, since I can't (what up OPSEC) but it's finally got to me. I'm already fed up with this deployment and it hasn't happened yet. I love my fiancé with all my heart and will back him on anything he does so before you all hop on that ish we're gonna stop it right there. But if your a fellow milso you'll get this.

We're planning our wedding revolving around trainings and deployment and it has been insane. If you know anything about the military- you know they set a date and it gets changes about 3,927,993 times. Time is an arbitrary thing in their eyes. Whole days get put on hold when he's supposed to get home from training since we only have one car. And I can hear you now, "oh if he's in the military and has another job just buy another car." That's not the issue. He has a vehicle- but it stays at his families house since we are currently living with my father so I'm not alone during training and eventual deployment.

But do you know what kinda sucks? Trying to get cake information from your spouse while he's not allowed to have his phone. Or trying to make a coparent decision but you have to wait a few days. I can feel the peanut gallery roaring in the background now. "You chose this by being with him." "You sound inconsiderate since he's the one sacrificing." "You should support him and not complain!" My answer to this? No. I'm not inconsiderate when I stay up late to make sure his uniforms are clean and ready. Not selfish when I make sure his car is packed and ready for him. Not unsupportive when I stay up til 3 to see him off when my own alarm goes off at 5 for a 13 hour shift. I'm so tired of this notion that milsos are to sit quietly in the background and never speak of how hard it can be. Because it downright sucks. Trying to console the three year old who's crying and upset because she wants daddy to rub her back for bedtime, fucking sucks. Explaining to her that she can't talk to him tonight because he's working, sucks. Laying in my own empty bed with no one to make fun of me for knitting my 7th blanket this month, nice at first but still sucks.

Knowing that I could get that car pulling up to my house giving me the worst news possible- is a dreaded, terrifying, sucky thing. But instead of tearing the so's down why don't we give them support? Why aren't we reaching out to them- instead of damning them for saying it might be hard because "at least you aren't over there, you have the easy way out." When did his world become so unsupportive of other humans?

Alright rant over for now.... it's just been hellish with school, work and wedding planning on top of military madness. As always my dears,