Bash a Milso

I don't normally write about this kind of stuff, since I can't (what up OPSEC) but it's finally got to me. I'm already fed up with this deployment and it hasn't happened yet. I love my fiancé with all my heart and will back him on anything he does so before you all hop on that ish we're gonna stop it right there. But if your a fellow milso you'll get this.

We're planning our wedding revolving around trainings and deployment and it has been insane. If you know anything about the military- you know they set a date and it gets changes about 3,927,993 times. Time is an arbitrary thing in their eyes. Whole days get put on hold when he's supposed to get home from training since we only have one car. And I can hear you now, "oh if he's in the military and has another job just buy another car." That's not the issue. He has a vehicle- but it stays at his families house since we are currently living with my father so I'm not alone during training and eventual deployment.

But do you know what kinda sucks? Trying to get cake information from your spouse while he's not allowed to have his phone. Or trying to make a coparent decision but you have to wait a few days. I can feel the peanut gallery roaring in the background now. "You chose this by being with him." "You sound inconsiderate since he's the one sacrificing." "You should support him and not complain!" My answer to this? No. I'm not inconsiderate when I stay up late to make sure his uniforms are clean and ready. Not selfish when I make sure his car is packed and ready for him. Not unsupportive when I stay up til 3 to see him off when my own alarm goes off at 5 for a 13 hour shift. I'm so tired of this notion that milsos are to sit quietly in the background and never speak of how hard it can be. Because it downright sucks. Trying to console the three year old who's crying and upset because she wants daddy to rub her back for bedtime, fucking sucks. Explaining to her that she can't talk to him tonight because he's working, sucks. Laying in my own empty bed with no one to make fun of me for knitting my 7th blanket this month, nice at first but still sucks.

Knowing that I could get that car pulling up to my house giving me the worst news possible- is a dreaded, terrifying, sucky thing. But instead of tearing the so's down why don't we give them support? Why aren't we reaching out to them- instead of damning them for saying it might be hard because "at least you aren't over there, you have the easy way out." When did his world become so unsupportive of other humans?

Alright rant over for now.... it's just been hellish with school, work and wedding planning on top of military madness. As always my dears, 

Dear Confident 2 Year Old

Dear confident 2 year old,

Don't ever change. Your ability to walk into the world with arms open, fingers spread, grasping onto everything bit of knowledge is so endearing. Don't let the world jade you.  You won't always be met with the same kind of tenacity you have.  Keep your chin above the doubt and know that you are able to do anything you want to.  Let that confidence be your compass into this strange world.

Dear kind hearted child,

Your world is so full of love you do not know how to understand anything other than just that.  You have one of the largest families I know of- all of which pour never ending love your way.  You can't even begin to fathom the fact that this world you thrive in is full of hatred.  Don't ever let someone tell you that you are unloved.  You will always be loved.  Don't let the one day ex-lover tell you that you are unlovable- because my child you are full of reason to be loved.  Please never cry those red, hot tears of disappointment. Of embarrassment. Of fear.  Of feeling less than.  Because you are more than all else.

Dear gorgeous, blue eyed wonder,

Your porcelain skin will gather you some attention.  It won't always be kind attention.  I know one day you will want to change that skin to dark tan like your aunt.  You will hate your freckles and cover them with concealer.  But never forget how beautiful you are.  Your eyes shine with the brilliance you have hidden far behind them.  You smile will brighten every room this house holds.  Never let someone else's opinions dampen your own opinion of yourself.  When you were born your face was full of innocence.  And although now you have your mischievous smile- innocence still fills you.  Today you look at yourself with such happiness while you figured out how to buckle your own shoe.  All this without any tan, any makeup, any altering.  Remember you never need to change to be beautiful.  Remember how to feel this beautiful by yourself, because one day you won't believe me.

Lastly. Dear my almost 3 year old,

You are more than I have ever dreamed of.  You are the reason for each breath I take.  You are the reason I say no sometimes, and the reason we dance in the rain.  You're the light of each of my days.  Another year has flown by and I am not ready for each one coming.  You are my blessing, and my entire world.  And I will show the way, through this strange and crazy world.  Take my hand, child. The unpaved path is better not traveled alone.

Melting Galaxies

Holy life changer guys.  If y'all follow me in real like this is gonna be a repeat but I CAN NOT Holy life changer guys.  If y'all follow me in real like this is gonna be a repeat but I CAN NOT IGNORE THESE THINGS.  I found heaven in a bath bomb.  I have always been a fan of bath bombs and try to get my grubby paws on them all the time.  Normally I am content with the bags of 6 or so bath bombs you can get at Target (my holy grail).  They are cheap and a bit smaller but I throw two in at a time.  They dissolve pretty quick though- but the scent payoff is totally worth it.

Back to the main focus! These little beauties are called Fragrant Jewels and OMGOSH they are absolutely amazing.  First off- these guys are not badly priced.  They run about $15 I think but come with a ring.  You pick your size ring before you checkout so there is not a chance that you get a ring that would not fit your finger.  But honestly if I didn't get a ring I would still buy these- they are that amazing.  I am addicted to anything galaxy, literally.  I will buy anything galaxy.  So they debuted this Starry Night edition and of course I bought it.  It was a bath bomb and candle combo.  They showed up package so securely.  I don't know about you guys but I appreciate whenever something is packaged well. I order half my life from online and I get so aggravated when you order something cute or you have been expecting something to show up and it does..... and its broken or missing things just because of the packaging.

Anyways. The bath bomb looked like this when I opened it and I can not appreciate more the extra detail for this Starry Night.

Oh and the candle photo bombing back there- dual wick and smell fabulous!! But back to the bomb.  Y'all they even put little star thingy mabobs in it to make it more adorable!  The scent was OMGOSH flawless.  It started with a citrus with grapefruit aroma. Oh wait you are probably thinking like, "started?" YES. These bath bombs have layers of scents.  Did I forget to mention? Ohyes. So once you melted away the top layer. the next layer is a pineapple and peach goodness layer.  The core around the ring is a sandalwood and teak wood combo.  Lemme show y'all the colors this bad boy produced. You don't just get blue (although I think that is all I got in the video to show you). It has pockets of yellow, purple and white that if you don't disturb the water truly makes it look like a galaxy. 

I think the part that truly amazed me was how long they lasted.  I am used to quick dissolving bath bombs that leave the water nice but don't last more than a few minutes.  I think this bad boy lasted upwards of ten minutes.  And the ring is in a plastic ball like you would get from the vending machine and didn't leak at all.  You lso ge a code in the ball that tells you how much your ring is worth.  I personally love my ring.  I think the color in the jewel is gorgeous and just a very classy little right hand addition.  

You can see how blue the water gets here.  Now I have nail envy over my own nails.  Since I tried this bath bomb work has destroyed my nails... I am missing both my middle finger's polish and cracked two others.  Reasons why medics never get their nails done... cots eat polish.  

I really can not stop raving about these little guys and you all have to try them! You can find their website here.  Sorry for the long post but I had to share this with y'all! I love y'all so much and I might have another post up tomorrow but it all depends on how the night goes. 

Toddler Hair Failures

How in the dickens do you do toddler hair? How do people do this? At Target the other day we passed this super mom with 3 kids (God bless her) within ages of 3, 4, and maybe 6.  That woman must put coke in her coffee to keep up with them.  Not to mention she was dressed fabulous, makeup and hair done and her kids were dressed stellar too. But her toddler daughter had french braids..... HOW?? My child just started tolerating a clip in her bangs let alone when I con her into a pony tail she lets be for approximately 2 hours before she rips that out.  And I have to ninja, light speed put in the pony tail otherwise she looses interest and rips it right out.  How are you able to get your kid to sit still long enough to do a french braid??

I convinced her Elsa wears her hair up and she should too... I think this lasted all of 3 hours though. And even now she won't let me do this. It's Elsa come on!!!  I am so close to just chopping her hair, well just the bangs. But if she won't tolerate me putting a clip how well would that hair appointment go? I just see it turning into this horrible experience and yeaaaaa no. She also loves to wear this hat I got her. Which she looks absolutely darling in so I have no qualms about that.. however how long can we just cover up hair and pretend it does not need to be contained? 

So until I can figure out how to con my child into having her hair up I am stuck with permanent messy toddler hair... and I look like a sloppy mom. But hey- she is alive and definitely thriving. Not sitting in bubble wrap and looking pretty. Shit she looks like a kid who does things. Oh my- I think I am going a bit over board. I think my wedding brain is starting to affect my normal brain... that or my concussion is still killing brain cells.  

Yes I gave myself a concussion at work the other day.  This is what happens when you get into a rig that isn't yours and try to stand up in the back.  News flash- ambulances were never made for tall people.  And I am a tall person.  If you have never been in the back of an ambulance we have this bar that runs from the back to the front so you can hold on while navigating the rig while someone is driving- ya know if you don't sea legs.  Anyways- the reason I love my rig (not the only reason, gotta love my big blue) is our bar is recessed into the ceiling, ya know, giving me more headroom.  However the fiance and I picked up an extra shift a week and it is not in our normal rig. First day in this rig I stand up with serious force and slammed my head right into this bar... bar of hell.  Did I mention in BB (big blue) our bar is nice and rounded and what not... not in this rig of Satan.  Sharp corners galore.  So I stand right up into this corner and see black and end up on the seat... somehow.  And next came the classic symptoms- nausea, vomiting, light headed, dizzy, slurred speech, couldn't form sentences... oh yea.  It was great.  But really I am sure I am good now... hopefully.  

Sorry for the short post but I missed my darlings- I swear I have more things I just need to actually type up... I will get there! But reviews on a bath bomb, ejuice and who knows! 

Until then my lovelies! 

Work it, work it!

Ahhhh it's been a week and I haven't posted. I'm so sorry my little darlings. I have been in an irrational over haul of wedding stuff an it's taking up my free time. The guest list shot up overnight and between that and hammering out my people who I want to use it's been a bit hectic. But I'm glad things are finally coming to a tip as I finish this organization. At least this wave of decisions. 

The fiancé and I recently signed up for a gym membership. I was SO apprehensive about doing this for reasons I shouldn't have been. I have this weird stigma about gyms and how fit people only go there. And I'm not fit. My entire body giggles while I run and it's no fun for anyone. I finally bit the bullet and signed up for a gym online and obviously you have to get your card and what not. It's so bad you guys, that when we pulled up to just get our cards- like not work out just get our stuff for signing up- I started having a panic attack. It doesn't help that the woman who helped us was miss Felisha fitness and a whopping size two with definition you could see from the other side of the gym. So of course the first time we go to work out there I'm hyperventilating the entire drive. I just don't belong at gyms. Back when I lived in Chicago I used to go for fun. I'm talking in that ass who went twice a day and enjoyed every second of it. I was that Felisha fitness. But now. Oh boy. No. 

However it wasn't that bad. We brought minimal stuff (literally keys and a jacket) so you can just hang on the hooks at the back which is nice. It was also like noon on a Thursday so there wasn't the normal crowd there. We acquired a treadmill (because I miss running) and started our workout. I'm a people watcher so I started surveying the crowd and let me tell you.... it's diverse. Obviously it's because it's noon and who is there at noon on a week day? Not people with normal work schedule. There were the typical college, too fit for their own good girls who were doing laps around the gyms giving everyone shitty looks. I waved once after about four laps and shitty, judging eyes and they stopped coming by me. But what shocked me was the amount of older people there. Now I'm trying to be nice but I mean grandma broke out of her nursing home and got to the gym. Easily 80 some years old and doing better on the elliptical than I can. This one gentleman was signing up and getting his tour while I was surveying the land. He was the CUTEST old guy I've ever seen. He's hobbling with his cane, can barely stand straight and wearing a Nam veteran hat. 

But I have been met with some set backs. Of course being me I always have had a problem with like internally yelling at myself to work out harder and harder. I'm the worse when it comes to running. I always push myself waaaay too hard and end up hurting myself. So of course during my run I pushed too hard and hurt my hip flexor (does anyone know good stretches for that?).  But got right back in it and did a home workout. However getting motivated to go to the gym after a 15 hour shift was a little hard. Sleep was calling my name and I gave in. And then we can't forget my concussion I acquired at work. I could barely think straight let alone coordinate my body to work out. But I'm not going to let this goal go. I have a wedding to get ready for and I would like to cut the guest list by two chins. 

However it's midnight and the alarm goes off at the wonderful hour of 5 so my darlings until next time ❤

Get Ready with Me!

So it's Friday and I am lucky enough to be kid free tonight. Payday, no kid, and the fiance leaves for the weekend... what does this all add up to? Date night. That's what.  I thought this might make a perfect opportunity for my favorite thing to watch on Youtube when I can't sleep... get ready with me date night! I am just going to go ahead and preface this with this little tidbit... I am HORRIBLE at trying to get ready.  I by no means think I am all that and a pair of socks with beauty type things- but hey let's roam outside of our comfort zones today!

Quick interlude- the fiance and I got a frog yesterday (and got him another albino pleco, adorable little tank suckers). But he has been the happiest little frog in the world! He is waaay too cute not to share. I have still yet to name him.  We have a ten gallon tank that we have been slowly adding to. We have 4 guppies named GUP-A, GUP-B, GUP-C, and GUP-D (if your children have ever watched the Bubble Guppies then you totally understand). Two albino plecos named Nibbler and Junior. I need help naming him! He loves hiding under the food pellets though and I have never had a frog that does this before.

Anyways- back to business. I found an adorable little dress on clearance at Target (where else do I shop besides Target and Tractor Supply) and could not stop myself from buying it. I was not sure how it would fit but low and behold after trying it on I actually LOVED how it fit. I have been on this diet (more on that in another blog) and it has been hell!  However I will say this dress hit in all the right places and I can not wait for him to see.  

So like any girl (or maybe I am the abnormal one here) I started watching Youtube videos trying to figure out what to do with my hair... I told you guys I don't do hair.  Youtube is my lifeline with anything girly.  I missed that gene somehow- the one where you automatically know how to do hair and makeup perfectly. My little sister is a goddess when it comes to those things- I however have perfected the pony tail and messy bun.  

But I digress.  First things first I touched up my nails from a few days ago. Between the cot at work, laundry and knitting my nails do not hold up a week.  I used to get a no chip manicure every 3 weeks or so but ya know, wedding and stuff so I cut it out from our budget.  For some reason those no chips actually work and stay on my nails. I have tried buying the at home no chip but it doesn't hold up nearly as long as the salons. I miss my mani's haha.  Anyways- I used this Essie glitter polish called Rock at the Top that has these giant glitter flakes that reflect the light so beautifully. I recently saw this hack on how to maximize the glitter pay off from glitter nails. You know how normally one coat gets you pretty sparse glitter coverage? If you use a makeup sponge and paint the tip, the sponge absorbs all the clear coat and leaves just sticky glitter that you can dab on your nail. Make sure you paint one coat of the polish on your nail first though or else it doesn't have anything to stick to. I also used these little decals I bought forever ago and I couldn't even tell you where I got them. But they are so pretty! 

So cute right? I love this shade by Dermelect, but the shade name has been since rubbed off the bottle so I can not tell you which one it is. It is a gorgeous one coat formula though.  As for my makeup, I have been obsessed with the Tarte Bloom 2 palette.  It has such gorgeous colors of muted neutrals.  I do feel as though I am cheating on my go to Tarte's Grav3yardgirl palette- but I can't get enough of this bloom palette! I ave slowly moved most of my makeup to Tarte brand.  It seems to sit on my face so beautifully and doesn't budge at all.  It also doesn't make me break out like most make up in the world does.  

This is the best picture I could find of this palette. Thank you Beauty Point of View! They have a multitude of makeup reviews and you can find their blog right here.  All of the colors are so beautiful in this palette and I just couldn't imagine trying to explain it without a picture.  When I bought the palette it came with a tutorial card with a daytime and nighttime look. I have been wearing the daytime look almost everyday and find it absolutely gorgeous. I think it looks really nice and the colors really compliment my eye color.  I think these colors would look amazing on any skin type though- they are just so subtle yet wonderful. Tarte made such an amazing little tutorial I am not even going to try to explain it- I will leave it to the professionals.  But this is exactly what I do for my eyeshadow. 

I start my makeup look with a simple Neutrogena Rice formula primer for oily skin all over.  I don't know about you but my face is super oily all the time.  Thank you parents.  After that dries I apply my Maybeline 2 in 1 BB cream with Salicylic acid in it.  It keep the little red demons at bay and off my face.  I set this with my Tarte Smooth Operator Amazonian Clay setting powder.  After that I attack the eyes. I know, no concealer. But I have never found one that I love enough to risk the run off that my wonderful oily skin produces.  So to start the eyes I prime with Urban Decay's Original Eye shadow Primer Potion.  Not to much but it makes the perfect primer for the eyelids and I personally think it makes the eye shadow pop more off my eye lids versus not using it.  Then I do exactly as the tutorial above shows for the eye shadow- no need to re-explain that.  Once the eye shadow is done I swipe away any excess with a big foundation brush that has nothing on it.  Next I go in with a angle tip eyeliner brush and keep a thin line across my eyelid to the corner, right up against the lash line.  Next I just do a slight wing, nothing too crazy though.  After eyeliner I go in with Tarte's Amazonian Clay mascara, two coats, This formula is amazing.  It thickens, lengthens and separates. Seriously is the best. Lastly I contour with Tarte's Park Avenue Princess contour kit.  I think this highlight is to die for.  I personally don't like my highlight to stick out too too much, but this is just perfect. And the bronzer in it has the right amount of darkness that isn't too harsh.  I set the whole look with Urban Decay's All Nighter setting spray for oily skin.  This was one of the best investments I have ever made.  My makeup can make it through an entire 16 hour shift at work and not budge a bit.  I have been so impressed with this spray I recommend it to everyone who is looking for one.  I do my lips after I set everything else, personal preference here but I don't think setting spray really works on lips. Plus this lip stain/gloss doesn't need any help staying.  I have been currently obsessed with Tarte's collaboration with Grav3yardgirl and bought her entire collection. But her lippie she sold in the shade Texas Toast is ungodly. It goes on like a lip gloss (which I personally can't stand lip glosses) but it dries matte and stains like a lip stain, It doesn't budge. I get 6+ hour wear with this lippie without having to touch up. Its a god send. Lemme stick a picture of the finish look riiiiight here. 

As for the hair I am just going to use my 1.5 inch barrel curling wand and curl all over.  I do have a bit of texture to my hair right now as I left it in a braid all night (like I do every night to combat tangles).  I do spray some dry shampoo to put something in my hair since it is so thin and doesn't always hold a curl.  I just use Batista Dry Shampoo- its amazing and smell fabulous.  After I curl my entire head I am just grabbing the front top sections of the hair and pulling to the back of the head just below the crown and pinning.  That's it.  Simple, but keeps the hair from in my eyes.  

Annnnd now the dress! As I said before I am absolutely in love with this dress. I decided to pair this little beauty with my ankle boots. They are just simple black leather boots with a slight heel. Since the fiance and I are the same height I try not to break out the stilettos on every occasion we go out- not trying to Uma Thurman tower over him.  I also have a vintage pearl necklace that is so gorgeous and a pearl bracelet to boot. I love my pearls. Heck I wear pearl earrings everyday. They go with everything! I am changing my earrings up to these stunning pearl and diamond, vintage statement studs.  They are an arrangement of pearls and diamonds in almost a diamond shape setting, but it is more scroll like if that makes any sense! I will put a picture of the final look right about here ↙

Thank you guys so so much for sticking with me through this long post. I had so much fun putting this together today for you and I hope you enjoyed reading this. Let me know if you would like more get together with me posts or any other suggestions you might have. I appreciate all of you and all of your feedback and all the comments truly mean a lot to me. Thank you all again, you all are the best. Until next time here on the farm my darlings. 

Bride-zilla Madness

Has anyone else noticed how asinine wedding planning truly is?  I mean really. The entire idea is nothing more than one big headache.  Let's think about this for a minute.  It is YOUR day and yet you stress about 99% of the time over what other people will think.

Look at the guest list. We struggle to figure out how to make so many people other than ourselves happy.  You want a small wedding? Awesome! Too bad your family and extended family and all friends and cousins expect to be invited to your wedding.  Wasn't invited to theirs? Guess what- they will still expect an invite to yours.  Oh, and when they don't? World war 4 is in full effect.  But why? I have never understood making a giant wedding spectacle.  We are currently looking at a wedding of 85 or so guests and it is making my head explode.  I think it is a HUGE number, and I know most of you will bawk at that.  I don't understand the appeal of having everyone and their mothers at your wedding. Why would I want Uncle Billy Bob who I haven't seen in two years let alone never have I had a relationship to be at my wedding. Cause he is family? Not a good enough reason in my eyes.  Lets be realistic. Weddings are expensive these days and most parents are not pitching in very much since they have their own lives and dreams and things they would like to do with their own money.  So why would you want to pay upwards of $50 for one person who you wouldn't notice if they were there or not?

And when did the average cost of flowers for weddings hit around $1,500?? What on Earth are you having at your wedding that you racked up that much in just flowers alone?  I could see all decorations together with flowers costing that but just flowers?? Insane. You better have rare flowers from Egypt that blossom once every 5 years and are personalized to your colors some how for that price.  And have you seen this new trend of bedazzling all the flowers? Its like a fairy puked all over the petals and now you have the herpes of arts and crafts all over everything.  Because that glitter will never just stay on the petals, it will infect everything at that wedding; looking like you had strippers glide their glitterfied asses all over your tables and such.  But really- why? Why are you paying more for there to be silver glitter lining the edges of these flower petals? To make them pop? No. Just say no to the glitter and back away from the bedazzler gun.

Moving on to dresses.  I personally see nothing wrong with a dress from David's Bridal. I am fully aware this is not the common opinion anymore.  But when did this bridal store become such a tabo place to shop from.  I have heard the horror stories come from there- and yes I agree not everyone should be hired as a consultant.  I personally have had great experiences from the one near me.  I actually ended up saying yes to the dress at my local David's and adore this dress (but I guess I ought to since it is now hanging in my closet awaiting my big day).  I have also seen brides not have great experiences first hand.  While my older sister's experience wasn't ideal- I don't think it was horrific.  We definitely didn't have the most personable staff member helping her.  She was also stretched thin seeing two brides at once.  Overall it ended up being a dress the consultant talked her into trying on that she found was the one- so I will say her eye was impeccable.  But I don't understand the appeal to going to these tiny boutiques and trying on gowns that starts at $1,000 just because they came from a small little store. Maybe I just don't see the appeal to dropping a few grand on a dress you will use for one night.  I get that it is your big day but it is literally 10 hours on your body and then shoved in a box for the hopes your daughter might use your dress for something.

But I guess that brings me to the bigger point.  Why are we shelling out $20,000 on one day of our lives? I understand its the joining of two lives and it is a big momentousness day.  I understand that it only happens once (if you are lucky) and that it is supposed to be a huge celebration.  Think about this though- what if you spent only $7,000 and took that other $13,000 as a down payment on a house? Less you have to finance and a bigger down payment could mean lower interest.  Maybe I am an old lady and just can not fathom spending the money on one day where I could enjoy my house forever.  Or buy a horse- those are a few thousand and they are well worth the money.

Hahaha alright enough with the serious thoughts for the day. I guess all this wedding planning has gone to my head. I never realized the amount of decisions you have to make. And WHY am I compelled to put vegetables in my menu when I feel like there is nothing wrong with having carbs and starches on top of my protein? Like seriously why? And since when did I believe I can do all this DIY wedding things? I am sure I am more capable than I believe I am but I realized how much work I am putting on myself to get this all done.  Thank God I have 8 more months to go!

Welp- I need to go finish up the buffalo bowls I am making for dinner.  Let me know if you guys want me to put that recipe up.  It is seriously one of the easiest recipes I make and always leaves left overs.  Not to mention it is so low maintenance being a crock pot recipe.  Til next time my darlings!