Bride-zilla Madness

Has anyone else noticed how asinine wedding planning truly is?  I mean really. The entire idea is nothing more than one big headache.  Let's think about this for a minute.  It is YOUR day and yet you stress about 99% of the time over what other people will think.

Look at the guest list. We struggle to figure out how to make so many people other than ourselves happy.  You want a small wedding? Awesome! Too bad your family and extended family and all friends and cousins expect to be invited to your wedding.  Wasn't invited to theirs? Guess what- they will still expect an invite to yours.  Oh, and when they don't? World war 4 is in full effect.  But why? I have never understood making a giant wedding spectacle.  We are currently looking at a wedding of 85 or so guests and it is making my head explode.  I think it is a HUGE number, and I know most of you will bawk at that.  I don't understand the appeal of having everyone and their mothers at your wedding. Why would I want Uncle Billy Bob who I haven't seen in two years let alone never have I had a relationship to be at my wedding. Cause he is family? Not a good enough reason in my eyes.  Lets be realistic. Weddings are expensive these days and most parents are not pitching in very much since they have their own lives and dreams and things they would like to do with their own money.  So why would you want to pay upwards of $50 for one person who you wouldn't notice if they were there or not?

And when did the average cost of flowers for weddings hit around $1,500?? What on Earth are you having at your wedding that you racked up that much in just flowers alone?  I could see all decorations together with flowers costing that but just flowers?? Insane. You better have rare flowers from Egypt that blossom once every 5 years and are personalized to your colors some how for that price.  And have you seen this new trend of bedazzling all the flowers? Its like a fairy puked all over the petals and now you have the herpes of arts and crafts all over everything.  Because that glitter will never just stay on the petals, it will infect everything at that wedding; looking like you had strippers glide their glitterfied asses all over your tables and such.  But really- why? Why are you paying more for there to be silver glitter lining the edges of these flower petals? To make them pop? No. Just say no to the glitter and back away from the bedazzler gun.

Moving on to dresses.  I personally see nothing wrong with a dress from David's Bridal. I am fully aware this is not the common opinion anymore.  But when did this bridal store become such a tabo place to shop from.  I have heard the horror stories come from there- and yes I agree not everyone should be hired as a consultant.  I personally have had great experiences from the one near me.  I actually ended up saying yes to the dress at my local David's and adore this dress (but I guess I ought to since it is now hanging in my closet awaiting my big day).  I have also seen brides not have great experiences first hand.  While my older sister's experience wasn't ideal- I don't think it was horrific.  We definitely didn't have the most personable staff member helping her.  She was also stretched thin seeing two brides at once.  Overall it ended up being a dress the consultant talked her into trying on that she found was the one- so I will say her eye was impeccable.  But I don't understand the appeal to going to these tiny boutiques and trying on gowns that starts at $1,000 just because they came from a small little store. Maybe I just don't see the appeal to dropping a few grand on a dress you will use for one night.  I get that it is your big day but it is literally 10 hours on your body and then shoved in a box for the hopes your daughter might use your dress for something.

But I guess that brings me to the bigger point.  Why are we shelling out $20,000 on one day of our lives? I understand its the joining of two lives and it is a big momentousness day.  I understand that it only happens once (if you are lucky) and that it is supposed to be a huge celebration.  Think about this though- what if you spent only $7,000 and took that other $13,000 as a down payment on a house? Less you have to finance and a bigger down payment could mean lower interest.  Maybe I am an old lady and just can not fathom spending the money on one day where I could enjoy my house forever.  Or buy a horse- those are a few thousand and they are well worth the money.

Hahaha alright enough with the serious thoughts for the day. I guess all this wedding planning has gone to my head. I never realized the amount of decisions you have to make. And WHY am I compelled to put vegetables in my menu when I feel like there is nothing wrong with having carbs and starches on top of my protein? Like seriously why? And since when did I believe I can do all this DIY wedding things? I am sure I am more capable than I believe I am but I realized how much work I am putting on myself to get this all done.  Thank God I have 8 more months to go!

Welp- I need to go finish up the buffalo bowls I am making for dinner.  Let me know if you guys want me to put that recipe up.  It is seriously one of the easiest recipes I make and always leaves left overs.  Not to mention it is so low maintenance being a crock pot recipe.  Til next time my darlings!

A Spoonful of Sugar

I feel like I may have watched Mary Poppins too many times growing up.  I truly do believe that something with a high enough sugar content can make any shitty situation completely better.  Think about it, what was the best part of going to birthday parties? It wasn't watching your friend get cooler toys than you.  It was the cake.  What do they give kids after they get shots at the doctors office? A sucker, unless you had my pediatrician growing who gave you band aides and stickers. Yea I was deprived as a child.  What do pregnant women crave? Sweet stuff in every variety .  Face it, I am right and you know it.  Well, Mary Poppins was right.... I guess I'm just riding the coat tails in this one.  With that being established though, I had a shitty day yesterday.  One of those days where the stress just boils over.  And I am sure we all have our vices and knacks that we go to to relieve stress.  Normally I would power smoke a pack a cigarettes while baking enough for a small town.  Seeing as I am cutting back in all things in that statement, I only baked enough for half of that town.  Because not only do I bake when I am under a lot of strews, but duh! Sweet things are the cure to my shitty day. 

I actually started off cooking.  I guess you can call it cooking.... I made tuna pasta.  Basic little ditty really.  Celery, onions, frozen peas, tuna, sour cream, mayonnaise, and of course noodles.  Now I use these cute little noodles, they're like little bands and super adorable.  I don't even know the correct name for this noodle because I literally call them the tuna noodles.  Its a simple and quick dish that it a summer time staple really. You need it in your life. Are you doubting this? You're missing out, I promise.

But then of course I needed to bake some sweets.  I started off cheating, and thought that baking ore made cookie dough would suffice. Sadly, or maybe dumbly (is that even a word?) I was wrong.  I should have known better haha.  So it was time to whip up a batch of homemade cookies.  And of course I choose peanut butter because no one can go wrong with peanut butter.  Well, I guess if you're allergic you could go wring with peanut butter..... but most people can't go wrong with peanut butter. So on went the apron and on to baking we went.

For this recipe you're going to need:
3 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
16 tablespoons (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
3/4 cup sugar
1 1/4 cups packed dark brown sugar
2 large eggs
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup creamy or crunchy peanut butter (I use creamy, but I have heard amazing things about crunchy)

I don't believe in double cookie sheets going at once.  I know this drags out the process but honestly if you want to perfect cookie, you need your rack in the center of the oven and only work with one sheet at a time.  With that being said, preheat your oven to 350°F.  Go ahead and butter (or Pam) your cookie sheets.  Whisk together your flour, baking soda and salt in a medium to large size bowl and set it off to the side. 
Now its time to pull out the old electric mixer.  You want to mix beat your butter with both sugars for about three minutes on medium speed until it becomes light and fluffy.  Next you're going to reduce speed slightly and add the eggs and the vanilla; beat until smooth a d well combined.  Scrape down the sides of the bowl.  Reduce speed to low and beat I n the flour mixture in two parts so as not to overwhelm the mixer (and make it easier on yourself).  Mix until its combines evenly. 

When you're adding the floor, make sure you go slow or you will end up with flour on your feet like I managed to do....

Roll one inch balls and place on your cookie sheet.  Flatten each ball by pressing the tined of a fork into a crisscross pattern.  Don't squish all the way down or you will have very crunchy, paper thin cookies.  Bake for 13 minutes, or until golder brown on bottom and barely colored on top.  Cool on pan for 5 minutes before transferring to a cooling rack.  Allow to completely cool. 

And voila! You have amazing peanut butter cookies! This recipe makes an obscene 80 cookies or so.  Make sure you have a crowd who will devour them, mine were gone within two days.  Yes its possible.  And no I didn't eat them all.

My tip, between each sheet of cookies, pace your self.  I normally took the out and let the cool for five minutes.  Then I waited another five before trying to put more cookie dough on that sheet,  otherwise your dough melts before you even get it into the over.  And who wants a gooey mess?  These cookies would be great during Christmas or just because you need some sugar.  Definitely a great rainy project for the kids! Hopefully y'all enjoy and it brings some sunshine to your afternoon.