Sometimes We Vent...

I know this isn't medical but I need to vent a little.  First off, I am sunburned like no other... and it sucks.  I went to my sister's soccer game, and well she lost. But it was nice to actually get to see her play. Plus, she sang the National Anthem and let's just say she is amazing at singing.  You can see it here. 

Y'all thought I was kidding, didn't you?

So besides the sun burn, my brand new car is now broken.  Some how the battery is already dead and if I find out its the alternator I'm going to flip shit.  This is not what I wanted to vent about today....

I didn't know that I needed a new asshole.  But, apparently one of my residents family members thought that I did.  Now, this woman is on a lot of oxygen and normally stays on her room condensers.  Not sure if y'all know anything about oxygen but the portables begin to evaporate the second you are done filling them.  Thus, if you fill a portable one day, 24 hours later it will be empty without even using it.  Now that I have explained this, I can tell you that her family member comes and visits every Saturday morning and takes her for a walk.  This is the only day she uses her portable, every other day we leave it empty.  It's a waste of oxygen which if you follow common sense is a waste on money for the facility.  So while I was getting her ready for the day, a nurse came in and let me know that her daughter called and would not be coming in today; therefore I didn't fill her portable. Apparently her daughter didn't like this because I got to hear for the next 45 minutes about how her mothers air should have been filled.  WHY WOULD I FILL IT IF YOU AREN'T USING IT???? 

Worst shift I have ever had.  Cried and chain smoked the whole way home.  That night solidified in my mind my determination to not be an aide forever.  I hate everything.

Post vent sesh and sleep edit: Okay, being a CNA isn’t so bad.  I don’t want to give anyone the wrong impression.  It is a highly rewarding job.  I feel incredibly lucky to be afforded the opportunity to interact with and care for such a diverse group of people every night.  I love feeling needed, and I love that I can be of assistance and comfort to someone whose heaviness I could never know.  I don’t know that I’ll ever feel something better than the feeling that washes over me when a patient’s face lights up at the sight of me.  It is a magic that is truly indescribable.  

However, I am still human.  I may have a problem with attaching myself to work (I dream about patients frequently and once a friend gets me going about work I find it difficult impossible to stop), and I work in a hospital. When I have not stopped moving except for brief bouts of charting, have been abused by patients who cannot be pleased no matter how hard I try, and have had the smell of every kind of offensively odorous bodily fluid there ever was residing in my nasal cavities, for 12 hours straight, I may break down.  If there are any new or potential CNAs reading this, don’t think that defines my attitude or the job in general.  Just know that, no matter how well you do with stress management, there are going to be times when you’re like: 

Before collapsing into this state:

But also remember that there are going to be times when you experience that magic I mentioned and you’ll be like:

And those moments will make it all worth it :)